Are You Feeling Stuck?

Kitty Boitnott, Ph.D., NBCT, RScP

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Have you ever felt stuck?

Perhaps you were stuck in a dead end job that you hated, but you stayed with because it paid the bills. Maybe you stayed put because the economy was so bad that any job was better than no job.

Perhaps you are stuck in the middle of a job search right now that is going nowhere, and you don't know why. Are you doing something wrong? Maybe, but who is going to tell you that?

Perhaps you are stuck in a relationship that no longer serves you, but you don't know how to end it without a lot of drama and hurt feelings. Additionally, you don't want to start looking for a new relationship to replace the released one. Sometimes we are more comfortable with the "devil we know."

Or perhaps you find yourself stuck in the mire of a health crisis. You are uncertain who to turn to and to whom to listen for the best advice. Everyone tells you contradictory things. Who to trust?

Regardless of your particular experience at the moment or your current situation, it is safe to say that we have all experienced the feeling of being stuck at some point in our lives, and we have all wondered how and where to start to get ourselves unstuck.

This weekend, I watched a new Netflix presentation of Tony Robbins at one of his "Date with Destiny" seminars. The title of the program is "Tony Robbins:  I Am Not Your Guru." The film was moving, and I enjoyed it except for the over-abundance of "F" bombs that he dropped at every turn. He says he uses language like that because it causes a "disruption" in people's regular thinking patterns. That may be, but while I don't mind the occasional four-letter expletive, it felt like to me he took it to a bit of an extreme. I managed to get past it, however, long enough to watch the entire presentation, and I have to admit, I enjoyed it enough to recommend it in case you are interested.

Tony Robbins has an interesting personal and professional history, and if you aren't familiar with him, I encourage you to give him a look. He was a pioneer in the self-improvement industry, and he is mostly self-taught. He grew up in an abusive home, and it was as much an effort to heal his own emotional wounds and pain as his desire to help others that have led to his phenomenal financial success. He has coached world leaders and celebrities as well as famous athletes, and he offers seminars that can pack a ballroom with 2500 people a pop. He has written best-selling books, offers entire training series for individuals and coaches, and is known around the world for his groundbreaking work.

Tony helps other people get unstuck. 

In fact, Tony Robbins was a leader in the personal, life coaching industry. He has demonstrated that sometimes we need help in the form of an objective point of view. We may need someone who can ask the right questions that will shed light on issues that we have been working on for years.

The main thing that Tony Robbins and other coaches offers is that if you want to make a difference in your life...if you want to get unstuck...you have to decide to do it. You can't wish for it. You can't just dream about it. You can't journal about it unless you decide that you are going to do something different from what you have been doing to address the issue that has you feeling stuck.

The fact of the matter is that you don't need a Tony Robbins or anyone else to help you live the life you want...unless you feel that you are stuck in such a way that you can't figure it out for yourself. If you are stuck and have no idea what to do to get unstuck, it may be time to ask for help. And there is no shame in that. You would go to the doctor if you were sick, right? Why not go to a coach if you are feeling stuck. The shame is in staying stuck when you don't have to stay stuck.

Another event is going on right now that I also recommend if this theme of feeling stuck resonates with you. It is the current meditation series that is being offered by Oprah Winfrey and Deepak Chopra. The meditation series began last week on July 11, but it isn't too late to start and listen. Two weeks of this 21-day series remains, so if you haven't been listening to it, and you could use some meditations to help get yourself unstuck, I would recommend your taking a look at this opportunity.

Wherever you may be stuck in your life, I encourage you to take a look at it and consider what are you afraid of changing if you decided to tackle the problem head on. What would have to change? Would it be a change for the better in the long run? Is it worth staying miserable because being uncomfortable for the short term feels scary? Think in terms of the long-term gain instead of the short term pain, and decide which direction you want to go.

No one can answer these questions but you, but I recommend you ask them of yourself. 

What is keeping you stuck, and what do you need to do to get unstuck?

Until next time.

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