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Are You Letting Fear Drive You?
Kitty Boitnott, Ph.D., NBCT, RScP
Career Transition & Job Search Coach
Fear. Everyone knows it, probably only too well. It is part of the human condition. As Dr. Ernest Holmes, founder of the Science of Mind philosophy has said, "Fear is the great enemy of man."
We tend to admire those who have overcome seemingly impossible odds in their lives. They illustrate in very real ways their ability to overcome fear. Many of us continue to wallow in our own fear, however. We fail to take action that would overcome fear. Taking action is something we often need to do to improve our lives in significant ways.
Unfortunately, the types of fear we face seem endless. Fear of being alone drives many people to marry the wrong people and then regret their decision almost instantly. Fear drives people to make poor financial decisions because they are working from a place of weakness and doubt rather than courage and faith. Fear leads us to play small in our lives instead of claiming that which we secretly yearn to have.
I know all about fear. I have experienced my fair share of it, and struggle with it on a daily basis. I know you might feel the same way.
When I start to feel myself succumbing to fear and doubt, however, I remember that I am my own worst enemy. I forget that I have already done some pretty remarkable things in my life, and if I could do those things, there is no reason to doubt my ability to do even greater things in the future. I just have to let go of the fear--which, of course, is so much easier to say than to do.
It helps to read inspiring messages from those who have exhibited great courage and have done great things, not just for themselves but others. Nelson Mandela, for example, is a true profile in courage, and he has said, “I learned that courage was not the absence of fear, but the triumph over it. The brave man is not he who does not feel afraid, but he who conquers that fear.”
One of my favorite songs is entitled, "If I Were Brave," written and performed by Jana Stanfield.
Here are the lyrics:
If I Were Brave
by Jana Stanfield
What would I do, if I knew that I could not fail?
If I believed, would the wind always fill up my sail?
How far would I go? What could I achieve,
trusting the hero in me?
If I were brave, I’d walk the razor’s edge,
where fools and dreamers dare to tread.
I'd never lose faith, even when losing my way.
What step would I take today, if I were brave?
What would I do today, if I were brave?
What would I do today, if I were brave?
What if we’re all meant to do what we secretly dream?
What would you ask, if you knew you could have anything?
Like the mighty oak sleeps, in the heart of a seed,
are there miracles in you and me?
If I were brave, I’d walk the razor’s edge,
where fools and dreamers dare to tread.
I'd never lose faith, even when losing my way.
What step would I take today, if I were brave?
What would I do today, if I were brave?
What would I do today, if I were brave?
If I refuse to listen to the voice of fear,
would the voice of courage whisper in my ear?
If I were brave, I’d walk the razor’s edge,
where fools and dreamers dare to tread.
I'd never lose faith, even when losing my way.
What step would I take today, if I were brave?
What would I do today, if I were brave?
What would you do today if you were brave?
To hear Jana perform this song, watch here:
This song always hits me right in my heart. After listening to it a few times when I am otherwise wracked with doubt, I begin to feel more confident. I truly feel that I can do anything...I just have to have faith.
I also love Marianne Williamson's prayer, "Our Greatest Fear."
In case you aren't familiar with it, please enjoy:
Our Greatest Fear —Marianne Williamson
it is our light not our darkness that most frightens us
Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate.
Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure.
It is our light not our darkness that most frightens us.
We ask ourselves, who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous,
talented and fabulous?
Actually, who are you not to be?
You are a child of God.
Your playing small does not serve the world.
There's nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other
people won't feel insecure around you.
We were born to make manifest the glory of
God that is within us.
It's not just in some of us; it's in everyone.
And as we let our own light shine,
we unconsciously give other people
permission to do the same.
As we are liberated from our own fear,
Our presence automatically liberates others.
—Marianne Williamson
(Often said to have been quoted in a speech by Nelson Mandela. The source is Return to Love by Marianne Williamson, Harper Collins, 1992. —Peter McLaughlin)
Even though fear is a fact of life, it does not have to drive you nor does it have to limit you. Find your own song or poem or affirmation that will help to give you courage in moments of doubt, and then go for whatever it is that you most desire. We all get one life to live. Don't you owe it to yourself to make it a fabulous one?
Until next time.
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