Fear:  The Thing Standing In The Way Of Your Happiness
Rev. Dr. Kitty Boitnott, NBCT, RScP
Heart-Centered Career Transition and Job Search Coach | Life Strategies Coaching
Man hanging fear 3D word edge cliff with sunlight sky

"Do the thing you fear to do and keep on doing it...that is the quickest and surest way ever yet discovered to conquer fear." 

~ Dale Carnegie


Imagine sitting on the beach watching the sunset as waves lap the sand. A book lies in your lap, ignored, as you lose yourself in the thought of how wonderful life is in this moment. 


Now take a moment. Where are you right now? Are you dreaming about traveling to the beach, sitting on the sand, watching the sunset? 


What is keeping you from going? Is it possible that you are afraid to act on your dream? What if you're needed at your job? What if something comes up with your family that they need you? What if you


Living in fear stops you from taking risks and chances to go for what you really want in life. It keeps you from finding true happiness. 


Happiness isn't defined by what you have or where you live. It's not defined by where you go or the people you love. 


True happiness is a feeling. 


Silhouette of happy young woman on a swing with sunset background


It's something you feel coming from deep inside about yourself. But fear can keep you from enjoying the feeling for very long.


Fear makes you feel unsafe. Facing your fear and moving out of your comfort zone is hard because you tend to expect the worst-case scenario. Your brain is naturally wired to send you negative information. Why? There is a part of your brain--the amygdala--which is wired to keep you safe. It will encourage you to play it safe and not take chances. But it also holds you back.


So what can you do to rid yourself of fear and live your truly happy life?


Everyone experiences fear. It's normal. 


Panoramic shot of scared child hiding under blanket isolated


So, fear itself isn't really the problem. The problem arises from the way you react to fear. It can hold you back. And it can definitely keep you from feeling happy for very long before the fear creeps back in. 


Here are four common fears everyone experiences and some suggestions for dealing with them.


1. Fear of failure. 


This is a common one. It often stems from your childhood. Fear of failing a test, for example, can become fear of not getting the job you want. This fear makes you feel that others are judging you. Or it might go back to a time in your life when you felt embarrassed about something.


The truth is, however, that failing is part of success. So to overcome this fear by not worrying so much about the outcome. Focus instead on the process of getting to success.


Failure is success in progress


2. Fear of success. 


The fear of success stems from many different fears, including a fear of change. It might manifest itself in fears around taking on extra responsibilities. Or it might be about the fear of attracting too much attention to yourself. Or it might mean feeling vulnerable in front of other people and having them mock you for your success.


The way to overcome this fear is to focus on one step at a time. But keep moving forward. As with the fear of failure, focus less on the outcome and more on the process. Remember that there is something to learn from the process.


3. Fear of rejection. 


The fear of rejection comes from the human need to belong and be part of a group. It can include fears of being judged or not being liked. It can even come from a deep-seated fear of being alone. The way around this fear is to "do it anyway."


One person with courage has success


Whatever it is you fear other people not liking you for, do it anyway. Remind yourself that the right people--your people--will respond to you favorably. 


4. Fear of not being good enough. 


This fear is rooted in how you feel about yourself. Your low self-esteem keeps you from not trying because of a lack of self-confidence. You can overcome this fear by starting with baby steps. Take small incremental steps, but start somewhere. Small successes can lead to the confidence you need to take bigger chances.


Everyone experiences fear at times in their lives. It's part of being human. Your fears may seem entirely rational to you but appear irrational to others. To overcome your fears, understand why you have them. Then work on facing them to live your life with true happiness.


Until next time.


P. S.


If you have ever listened to my podcast or talked with me on the phone or heard me speak at all, you know that the one big thing I know for sure is that life is too short to spend a day of it doing something you don't love.


That's why I retired ad the age of 59 1/2.


That's why I created a job I could love and feel good about.


And that's why I share with anyone who will listen why I think everyone can choose to do something different if they aren't happy in their current situation.


Because of that, I will be starting a new coaching cohort at the beginning of the year (January 3, 2022).


And now is the time to plan on signing up for it if you want a new career lined up before the next school year.


But time is of the essence.


You need a few weeks to get yourself up and running with a successful job search strategy. And you need some time to get yourself put out there on the job boards to be considered a serious candidate for the job of your dreams.


If you want to learn more about all that, join me for the next free Masterclass, "Jumpstart Your Job Search for 2022."


I will be offering it on two occasions:  December 16, 2021, at 7:00 PM EST, and again on December 18, 2021, at 3:30 PM EST.


To register for this free online event, click here:  https://event.webinarjam.com/register/45/nk4ozb7q.


I would love to see you there if you are ready to make a serious change in your life and leave the classroom behind you for good.



Vanessa Jackson
Phoenix Rising Coaching
1541 Flaming Oak
New Braunfels Texas 78132
United States of America