How to Overcome Your Fears and Find Success
Rev. Dr. Kitty Boitnott, NBCT, RScP
Heart-Centered Career Transition and Job Search Coach | Life Strategies and Stress Management Coaching
What scares you most? We all have some sort of fear. It generally varies from person to person. You might not fear the same thing I would be afraid of, and vice versa. But it is generally a part of the human condition that we each have something we fear. Perhaps because of a traumatic experience in childhood. Or perhaps because of some other type of experience.
Fear can become debilitating if we allow it to interfere with our day-to-day activities. In that case, it might be wise to try to learn what you need to do to overcome your fear if at all possible.
Some fears seem so irrational to others that they may make fun of them.
But if you are the one who feels the fear, it's not funny, and you don't appreciate being made fun of.
The good news is that it is possible to overcome most types of fear. On occasion, therapy can help. Some people have even found that hypnosis can help with certain kinds of phobias which is an extreme version of fear.
Regardless of the shape and form of your fear, you can overcome your fear if you want to and you are willing to take it on. Here are some suggestions for how you might face and overcome your particular fear.
Face your fears head-on.
One of the quickest and most efficient ways to overcome fear is to face it squarely. For example, for many people, fear of public speaking is something that they share. Indeed, some studies suggest that second only to death, more people fear speaking in public than anything else. That's one reason so many people join Toastmasters. It provides them with a safe environment where they can practice speaking in public. And they can overcome their fear.
Another example is if you are a writer and afraid of being rejected by a potential publisher. The way to get around that is to go ahead and submit your manuscript anyway. Countless best-selling authors received rejection letters from publishers before hitting success.
Each time you take action in the face of your fear, you become stronger and more capable of facing your fear next time.
One of the best ways to overcome a fear is simply to acknowledge it.
Do not be embarrassed by your fear. Know that it is real to you. It exists for you. It also helps if you acknowledge your fear to others. If you are afraid of heights or small spaces, that is nothing to be embarrassed about – it is simply part of who you are.
Share your fears with others, but only if you trust them to understand. If others find out about your fears and try to use them against you they are not your friends. Don't let them do that to you. A true friend will never use your fears as a way to shame you or embarrass you. So, dump anyone who does that to you. You need to find better, more understanding friends.
Once you have acknowledged your fears and faced them head-on, continue to take small action steps daily to keep those fears in check.
If you have a fear of elevators, for example, ride an elevator every chance you get. If it helps, ride with someone else so you aren't alone. But the more you can engage in the activity that scares you, the more desensitized you will become and the fear will hold less power over you.
Fear can work to sabotage us in our lives.
Fear of failure keeps us from trying something new because we don't want to experience the embarrassment of failing. But instead of considering the lack of success as a failure, consider it a learning experience. That will take the sting out of not being successful on the first try.
Fear can force us to play small in our lives. We don't want to be reckless or impulsive and engage in dangerous behavior. But if we can overcome the fear in our lives, we can strive for the success we want and deserve.
Until next time.
If fear of failure or the fear of the unknown is keeping you from trying for a new job, check out my latest webinar presentation on how to jumpstart your job search. Click here for the free presentation: https://event.webinarjam.com/register/27/37l4qalx