So, How Are You and How's It Going in Your Part of the World?

[Responses Sincerely Welcomed]

Rev. Dr. Kitty Boitnott, NBCT, RScP

Heart-Centered Career Transition and Job Search Coach | Stress Management Coaching

I won't kid you. I have struggled with what to write this week.

I started to offer some tips and tricks on how to manage anxiety.

Then I thought about expanding on some of my previous posts about stress and how to manage it.

I played with the idea of offering some personal improvement strategies that you might like to know more about.

But at the end of the day, I kept asking myself, "What can I possibly say that might make my readers feel better about a really crappy situation?"

And I got nothing. 

Now, don't get me wrong. I am doing okay in the midst of this mess.

In fact, I am embarrassed to tell you how well given that I recently refinanced my house, so I didn't have a mortgage payment to make last month.

The money that the government sent was just enough to pay for the new washer and dryer I needed to buy unexpectedly.

And my house payment has gone down because of the refinance.

I haven't had to worry about not having a paycheck coming in.

I don't have kids who aren't going to school, so I don't have to homeschool anyone.

My day-to-day routine hasn't changed much.

My greatest hardship is that I can't go to the movies when I want to or drop by one of the many incredible local breweries with my boyfriend on a Sunday afternoon. Boo-hoo. Tell that to someone with real problems.

I see what other people are dealing with. I hear the stories of the brave doctors and nurses who are on the frontline of the pandemic, especially in New York City and on the West Coast, but really in every state and city.

I am so grateful for the first responders and the grocery store folks from the stockers to the cashiers. 

I am also grateful for the delivery people who bring stuff to my house, so I don't have to go out to get my stuff.

I am grateful for every one of those people who is going to work every day.

They are potentially exposing themselves to the very thing we are asked to stay home to avoid.

I see the long lines of folks waiting for their turn at the food bank so they can feed their kids because they are suddenly out of work and can't work remotely from home.

I know that people couldn't make their rent in April and May because they can't work. And they may not be able to make it in June or July, either.

I think about the nail technician I go to...someone I have seen since the summer of 2002. She is one of the hardest working women I have ever known.

I am merely inconvenienced by not being able to get my nails and toes done.

She and the people she works with are out of work for who knows how long?

I pray she will be able to open back up soon, whether I feel like I can go back for a mani-pedi right away or not.

I think about the woman who has been cutting my hair since 2009. I haven't seen her for almost two months. That means I way overdue for a haircut.

It also means she hasn't earned the money I would pay her for a haircut. And she still has bills to pay.

My dog groomer opened back up.

I am extremely grateful for that. I was on the verge of paying double for a mobile groomer to come by and give my fur babies their baths and trim their nails.

But their regular groomer called me a week ago to say she was opening on a modified basis, and did I want to bring Bernie and Zoey in?

I think we might have been her first customers because we were there bright and early Monday morning.

All of these things I have thought about in the weeks we have been asked to stay home.

But do you know what has bothered me most?

What has bothered me most about all the changes we have had to make around visitations and funerals.

Families are being deprived of their natural need to grieve with family and friends.

I was watching an Oprah interview last week. She was talking with a family who had lost their father and husband to the coronavirus a few days before. They talked about how they had to wait to give him a proper service because of the restrictions that funeral homes have had to implement.

I thought of when my dad died and all the people who turned out to comfort us and share in our grief, and I burst into tears for that family. I cried for them and all the other families who are being deprived of their need to grieve properly.

In fact, to me, the cruelest part of this entire pandemic is the fact that it has driven us apart physically at the very time when we need one another more than ever.

I know we can stay in touch virtually, and I am grateful for that. But let's face it. It is not the same as being with them.

I have said it before, and I will repeat it here. I don't think I will ever take another hug for granted.

We need physical contact because we are human beings.

But this pandemic forces us to forego our need for physical comfort in our effort to stay healthy and to protect our loved ones.

It just seems like a cruel irony to me.

So, I guess you could say that while I am doing okay in every other respect, today I am feeling a little sad right now.

Sad that we need to go along with the social isolation for who knows how long?

I am not with the crowd that believes we can set a date on the calendar and then declare that it's okay to get back to the way things were.

In fact, I am saddened by the amount of disinformation that it is fomenting and giving people incorrect information about the pandemic, its root cause, and the reason why it is so vital that we continue to observe the social isolation measures. 

I know people are getting tired of staying home. I get it.

But I don't think being bored is a good reason to put myself or my neighbors at risk by flouting the facts and going to the beach or park or mall without regard for the consequences.

I think the pandemic--and our ability to offer a virus and/or a cure--is going to decide when it's time to get back to some semblance of normal.

So, anyhow. That's how it's going in my part of the world.

How's it going for you?

I would love to hear. Seriously.

If you would like to share insights or thoughts you are having during this time, just reply to this post and let me know how you are doing. I really want to know.

Until then, please take care.

Stay safe. Stay home. Stay healthy.