The Holiday Season Does Not Make Us Immune from Sadness
Kitty Boitnott, Ph.D., NBCT, RScP
Heart-Centered Career Transition and Job Search Coach | Possibility Thinker | Certified Life Strategies and Stress Management Coach
It is hard to believe that the holidays are upon us yet again. They seem to come around faster and faster every year, don't they? Or is it just me?
Thanksgiving of 2017 is now behind us, and I hope you had a wonderful time with your family and friends. I had a lovely day with my brother and sister and significant other. It was a low key day, but a day devoted to family.
This weekend, I was reminded that we are not immune from sadness and bad news, even during the holiday season. I received two emails, back to back, that contained sad and bad news.
One email was an announcement that a member of my circle had lost her battle with cancer Saturday morning. Everyone knew it was just a matter of time. The prognosis had been grim for months. There is something about getting that final message of passing, though. It dashes all hope of a miracle cure in spite of the odds.
On the heels of that sad message, I received more bad news. One of my best friends from high school received the results of a biopsy that she had last week. The news is not good. The upside is that she has a great team of doctors who are tackling the issue of her treatment aggressively. I know she is in good hands.
It is devastating, though.
I wish I could help, but at the moment, sending thoughts and prayers are the extent of the help I can offer.
It feels like we should be able to declare the holiday season a season that is immune from sadness and bad news. We should get a pass on experiencing loss and concern about health issues during this next month. Right?
I mean, we are all supposed to be happy and jolly and filled with joy for the next four weeks. That's what the carols recommend. That's what most of the Christmas stories are about. Even when there is conflict in some of the holiday movies like It's a Wonderful Life or How the Grinch Stole Christmas, there is always a happy ending.
Alas, life isn't like that. We must take the good with the bad and make the best of all sorts of situations.
It doesn't mean that we have to like it, though.
Please send my friends good vibes and happy thoughts. The one who has lost her battle with cancer and those who loved her. And the one who still has a battle ahead of her. Please lift them both up in silent prayer. I believe that prayer works. Research suggests that it does. So, just send happy thoughts my way, and I will forward them along on your behalf.
And while you are at it, consider what you may be dealing with in your life. For all I know, you are struggling with an illness or loss of your own. If that is the case, please know that I am sending you kind thoughts and prayers for healing. I hold all of those in my circle (including you) in light and love every day. It's part of my daily practice of prayer and meditation.
The holidays are a time for reflection and family. They are a time for experiencing life in all its fullness and complexity. That means that we experience sadness as well as joy. We are subject to a wide range of emotions. It is possible to feel a whole range of feelings in a quick succession of moments, isn't it? Think of the last time you were on the verge of tears, and then something caused you to turn from tears to laughter and vice versa. It happens to me all the time.
We are, after all, complicated beings, aren't we? Our emotions range from anger to fear to love to joy regardless of the date on the calendar.
More significantly, we can, in fact, choose what to think, and therefore, how we want to feel at any given moment.
The short story is that during this holiday season, I urge you to choose love in all you do. Choose joy in every moment you can. Choose appreciation and gratitude for everything and everyone around you. Look for the good in every experience...even the ones that don't seem very good on the surface. There is good to be found in everything. You just have to look for it.
Author Katrina Mayer has said, "Everything we see depends upon how we look at it."
I prefer to look for the good in things...even those things that don't automatically appear to be all that good.
Are you with me?
Until next time.
Have you heard about the special deal I am offering this holiday season? I am offering an updated 7-part mini-course on how to manage your stress during the holidays--or any time of the year. I was offering it for $37.
I have reduced the cost to $17 through Christmas.
This program is for anyone who is feeling stressed out during the holidays, but it is especially for the busy working woman.
This message is for you if you work full time.
You already know what holiday stress does to you. You are juggling a full-time job, and most of the holiday planning falls on you.
You are already feeling the extra burden now with Thanksgiving behind you. You have a million things to do. You think you can't make time to do anything about it.
You just have to power through. What choice do you have?
But what if there were a solution?
Here's the answer you've been looking for...
A 7-Part Mini-Course – The “Nip Your Holiday Stress in the Bud" Program!
This 7 Program Will Help You...
- Avoid the struggle of feeling that the only way to survive the next few weeks is to grit your teeth and hunker down
- Give up feeling that you must forego your good health habits during these last weeks of the year
- Sidestep gaining weight and feeling guilty about that by New Year’s Eve
- Save yourself from crashing and burning instead of enjoying yourself this season
- Stay in tune with your spending, so you don’t have huge credit card bills hanging over your head in January
- Avoid feeling irritable with family and friends instead of enjoying being with them
- Enjoy the holidays for a change
- Relax and feel centered no matter what is going on around you
- Discover the sense of peace and poise you long for during this season and any time of the year
- Exert a peaceful presence on others around you
- Feel stronger and healthier moving into the New Year
- Understand how all the extra stress of the holiday season impacts you
- Discover the real secret of managing your stress once and for all--any time of the year
- See how you can experience more relief from stress. (You don't have to deal with struggling to get through the last few weeks of the year
- Realize how, even though you feel extra stressed out during the holiday season, you can feel more at ease.
- Experience a greater sense of joy so you can breeze right by through the holidays with ease and grace
- Enjoy short and long-term solutions for how you can enjoy the holidays for a change.
- Relax and feel centered no matter what is going on around you.
- Quickly discover the sense of peace, joy, serenity, and poise you want.
- And experience the added benefit of exerting a sense of peace on others around you at the same time
- Feel stronger and healthier moving into the new year. That means you never have to experience feeling irritable with family and friends. Enjoy them again instead
- Escape from struggling to get through the last few weeks of the year
- Avoid giving up on your good health habits because there are just too many temptations
- And, as a special bonus, you'll also discover these 7 simple strategies between now and the New Year!
Now that's a tall promise, and at this point, you may be wondering...
Why Should You Listen to Kitty Boitnott When it Comes to Managing Stress?
Personal Info (What I know about stress and stress management)
Like most human beings, I have learned about stress through my first-hand experience. The fact is that I lived a pretty placid life as a single, elementary school librarian until I was 48 years old. That was when I met and married the smartest and most charming man I have ever known.
I sold my house and many of my belongings to move across the state to be with him and start a whole new life. It was a grand adventure. It was also, alas, a mid-life crisis that went from bad to worse fast.
As if I hadn't already subjected myself to enough major change in a short period, I started a doctoral program (at my husband’s urging) the same week that we got married. My wedding was on Saturday. I showed up for class on Monday.
Unfortunately, my husband was diagnosed with bipolar disorder a year into our marriage.
By the time I was winding up my studies, I knew that the marriage was not going to survive. Over the Christmas holidays of 2005, I moved out of the marital home. I took only necessities and my two dachshunds with me.
I set up a small apartment across town from my husband and filed for divorce. I continue to work on my doctorate, and I finished the dissertation 14 months later. I graduated from the program ahead of schedule in 2007.
I bought a townhouse the same month I graduated.
I was ready to get on with my life.
About that same time, I was approached about running for President of the Virginia Education Association. The VEA is the state’s largest teacher organization. I had been an active leader in the organization for most of my teaching career. After a lot of contemplation and meditation, I decided to run. There had not been a contested race for that position for 16 years, and I thought it was time to shake up the status quo.
Much to my surprise, I won! I took office in August of 2008.
In September of that year, the economy began to crash. My members began to learn that they might not have jobs for the next year. Budgets were frozen across the board for the next school year. The entire economy contracted.
During my first year in office, the VEA lost 5000 members. That was the result of job reductions and salary freezes. The organization faced major financial challenges.
In the middle of my second year in office, I had to fire the Executive Director. I had to find an interim and go through the search process for a new Executive Director.
In the meantime, the upheaval of the organization with staff unrest churned.
By the time my final year in office was over, I was exhausted on every possible level. I felt like I was running on an empty tank. I was going through the motions, but my passion for my job had died. I felt like a limp wash rag. I was wrung out.
During that time, I realized I was too tired to want to go back to teaching again. I struggled with what to do. Ultimately, instead of going back, I took early retirement. Six months later, I decided to start my own business as a Coach and professional speaker.
I have never regretted that decision, but being the sole owner of your own business brings with it challenges and stress with it.
So as you can see, I am more than qualified to help you understand how to manage your stress!
I have not only survived all the stress in my life up to now; I am thriving today…and you can too! Regardless of the stress, you may feel, there are strategies you can adopt right away that will help you minimize it and cope with it more effectively.
I learned the hard way how to cope with stress. I want to help you avoid some of the mistakes I made before I knew better.
This program is the result lessons I have learned the hard way. And it is the result of the training I received when I undertook the study of stress management and became a certified Stress Management Coach. I have learned how stress impacts our health. And stress gone unmanaged and unchecked will make you sick.
The American Medical Association estimates that 43% of adults already suffer from a stress-related illness. Additionally, they say that 70-90% of all visits to primary care physicians are stress related.
You need to get a handle on your stress level sooner rather than later. Don’t wait for it to make you ill! Learn what you can do starting right away that will help you manage your stress. Be proactive.
Here is what you will learn:
- That you can adopt a mindset that will allow you to experience the stress you feel differently. Attitude is everything in how we manage events in our lives whether
- Healthy habits can make a difference in how our bodies and minds experience stress. Discover 7 specific health practices that you should start following right away.
- A large part of managing stress is in managing your environment. Clutter and disarray in the home or in your office can contribute to and exacerbate feelings of being out of control.
- Managing your workload can make a big difference in how you manage your stress. Chunking big projects and delegating to those on our team on in your family can go a long way to helping ease your load.
- Discover the magic in the 5-second rule. Author Mel Robbins has written a whole book about it. Learn how you can use it, too.
- Set better boundaries. If you are a people-pleaser, you may need to exercise your right and ability to say "no" on occasion. It gets easier every time you do it.
- Learn that asking for help is not a sign of weakness. There is not rule that says you have to bear the whole burden of the holidays. Assign duties and tasks. Delegate. Enlist the help of family members and your support system. You don't have to do it all by yourself.
So Here's Exactly What You're Going To Get With the"7-Week Mini-Course - Nip Your Stress During the Holidays" Program:
Module 1 - Mindset - Attitude is Everything
- Module 2 - Healthy Habits (7 Practices You Should Use Starting Now)
- Module 3 - Controlling Your Environment
- Module 4 - Managing Your Workload
- Module 5 - The 5-Second Rule (Thanks, Mel Robbins!)
- Module 6 - Setting Better Boundaries
- Module 7 - Asking for Help
The total value of the program is $197!
But you can get it for only $17 for a limited time!
Click here to take advantage of this offer or click on the Buy Button below:
Only $17 from now until Christmas!