Get the Most Out of Your Life Right Now: 4 Tips on How to Live Your Best Life Starting Today
Rev. Dr. Kitty Boitnott, NBCT, RScP
Heart-Centered Career Transition and Job Search Coach | Certified Life Strategies Coach
Have you ever been envious of someone? Have you thought that other people seem to get everything they want?
Everyone, that is, except you?
Do you sometimes feel aggrieved because someone you know seems to "have it all?" They have the perfect house. Or maybe they have the perfect car. Maybe they have both. You're still single and lonely while they have the perfect marriage, or so it seems.
They seem to have everything they could possibly want--and what YOU want--but you just keep struggling. In your heart of hearts, you are jealous of their success. And you are unhappy because you feel it's so unfair.
If any of this sounds familiar and you can relate, you have a big problem. Thinking thoughts like those are the exact thoughts that repel the very things you want in your life. You need to turn that thinking around ASAP (as soon as possible). Positive thoughts attract good things, so you want to practice thinking positive thoughts as much of the time as you can.
It is really very simple There are several ways to get what you want in your life but indulging in negative thinking is not one of them.
You first have to take ownership of your own life. You are the designer of your own destiny.
After all, no one else is living your life for you now are they? You are responsible for how things are going one way or another in your life. You don't have to like that fact. You don't even have to accept it. Your belief in it doesn't change it. No one is in charge of your life and how it goes but you.
You are not a "victim of circumstance" even if you sometimes feel that you are. You are always at the point of making a new choice about how to conduct yourself in your life. You and you alone get to decide what sort of life you want to live.
That's not to say that things--bad things, tragic things--sometimes happen to you. That is an unhappy fact of life. With that said, you get to choose how to respond to what happens to you even when it is the worst thing you can imagine.
So how do you take responsibility for your life?
Here are four specific suggestions for how to get what you want from life starting today.
1) Take responsibility for your actions and your life.
Being responsible may not sound like a whole lot of fun, but it is one surefire way to get what you want in your life. You must take responsibility for your life in every respect. Stop blaming circumstances or, worse yet, other people, when things don't go the way you want.
You may need to start by taking stock of where you are in your life right now and where you want to be in a year, five years, ten years, and so on. In his best-selling book, Living Forward, Michael Hyatt talks about starting at the end and working backward. One exercise he recommends is to write your obituary.
Think about what you would like people to say about you when you are gone. What do you want to be remembered for?
George H. W. Bush died last week, and the country went through a week of mourning for him and the history he represents an era of politics that seems like it was a long time ago. Think about the accolades that people offered him. They talked about his kindness. They also commended his ability to steer the country through the perilous time that included the collapse of the Soviet Union and the reunification of Germany. (If you are too young to remember those events, Google them to get a sense of the import of them to our country's history.)
People were quick to point out that he wasn't perfect, but he was basically a good person who saw the good in others. That is how he will be remembered. How do you want people to remember you?
We each get to choose how we conduct ourselves in this life. It is not a dress rehearsal. It is not a drill. It is your one life, and you own it for better or worse. If your life isn't what you want it to be right now, do something about it and do it now.
Which leads to the next suggestion.
2) Take action steps toward the type of life and experience you want to have and start right now.
Instead of thinking (and wishing, hoping or dreaming) about what you want, do something about it! If you want to change careers, start looking! Take a class or two to see if your new career is something that you want to pursue.
If you want to have more friends and experience a better social life, join some groups that enjoy the things you enjoy. Use MeetUp to find groups of like-minded people.
If you want to lose some weight or experience better health, start a walking club or join a support group.
No matter what it is you want to do, you will need to take action.
Be cautious, however. Don't start so overzealously that you fall flat on your face or lose momentum. Indulge in baby steps.
Small steps are better than no steps at all.
I highly recommend taking small steps to start anything new. Remember the adage, "Rome wasn't built in a day." You won't turn your life around in a week or a month. It may even take longer than a few months or a few years.
I realized not too long ago that I was grateful for the life I am living right now. It is a life I have created for myself very intentionally. That is not to say that every day is perfect. Of course, it isn't. But most days, I feel that I am on track to precisely the life experience I envisioned for myself when I went into business six years ago.
When I think back to the Christmas season of 2005, I remember that I was in the midst of a separation from my husband, and I was moving out of the marital home into an apartment. I wasn't sure how things were going to turn out. I was a little fearful of my husband at the time. He had a tendency to be erratic. It was hard to anticipate what he might say or do on any given day. My stress level was so high that I was diagnosed with viral induced asthma!
But I didn't let that distressing period in my life define me.
I went on to finish my Ph.D. while living in my small 2-bedroom apartment with my two dogs, and one day at a time, I built a new life.
If I could do that, anyone can. I am not unique in any way except that I may be more determined than some not to give in to victimhood. I take responsibility for all of my actions including the part I played in the fact that my marriage didn't work out. My ex-husband was not a bad man, and at one time I loved him very much. But things didn't work out like I might have liked.
I moved on, and so did he. We later became friends, and when he passed away a couple of months ago, I was sad to hear it. He had not lived the life he wanted. Of that I am sure. But he tended to blame others when things didn't go his way. He often succumbed to a victim mindset. And it did not serve him well.
Be aware of your thoughts at all times.
3) Use the power of your mind to change your life for the better.
* Train yourself to think positive thoughts. This practice is possible even though it may sound like a foreign concept to you at the moment. In my Science of Mind training, I learned that thoughts become things. As a result of that training, I quickly realized that I needed to take control of my own thoughts. You do that by becoming aware of your negative thoughts and turning them around at that very moment. It requires that you be tuned into your thoughts all the time. But you can do it with practice.
* Be grateful--always. Gratitude is the number one practice that many successful people point to as their "secret." Be thankful for the things and people who ARE in your life instead of wishing for new things or different people. Being grateful in this "now moment" changes your energetic vibration, and you become more and more "attractive" as a result.
You then start to attract more of the things for which you are grateful. It works every time because it is the Law of Attraction.
Some people discount the Law of Attraction. They consider it "woo-woo" "New Age" nonsense.
It isn't "woo-woo" and it isn't "New Age" nonsense. It is as real as the law of gravity. You can see how that law works, so you believe it. Drop a ball, and the ball goes down, right? You fall down. Nobody ever falls UP.
Yet, you can't "see" the principle itself. You just see the effects of it.
The same is true of the Law of Attraction except the effect isn't always immediate. That doesn't make it less real, however.
Make a list of the things for which you are grateful.
Some people keep a gratitude journal. Be grateful for the mere fact that you woke up today! Be thankful for your home no matter how small. Be grateful for the air you breathe, the water that runs freely from your faucets, and the clothes in your closet. Just be thankful. And be sincere in your gratitude. Make this a regular practice and watch new blessings begin to flow to you.
* Recall small successes so you can rely on that when you are feeling nervous or scared. Everyone gets nervous and fearful on occasion. This will be truer when you are stretching yourself out of your comfort zone. If you are changing jobs or starting a new business, of course, you are going to be nervous and scared. That's normal. But don't let those feelings stop you from growing.
Change is a part of life.
The more you embrace positive change in your experience, the more positive your life will be. This is good news! When you are starting a new endeavor, remember the times when you took a chance and it worked out. Use that experience to help you continue to grow.
* Be proud of yourself. I don't mean to be arrogant. No one likes a braggart. But it's okay to have a healthy ego which means you give yourself credit for your wins. Have enough humility to recognize that you aren't perfect. No one is. But you should permit yourself to be proud of your accomplishments.
* If you are spiritual, pray, share, and affirm others as well as yourself. You don't have to be "spiritual" to affirm others, of course. I am just offering that it is good for you to explore your spiritual nature and develop a spiritual practice. We all have a soul and a spiritual nature. That is why we speak of ourselves in terms of "mind, body, soul, and spirit."
We are multidimensional beings.
And one of our dimensions has to do with our spiritual connection with a Higher Power. I don't think you need to be religious to be spiritual, but many religions do tap into some form of spirituality. Follow the path that makes the most sense to you.
4) Be laser focused on your goals.
If you have a specific goal in your life, the next step is to create an action plan. Build in small steps at least at first, but make sure they are daily steps. You cannot skip a single day if you want to stay on track. Have someone hold you accountable every day for your daily action steps. Maybe you need to find an accountability partner. Hold one another accountable. Having an accountability partner will help to keep you on track and improve your chances of being successful.
Focus on that thing that you want the most and keep your mind on that at all times.
You may feel yourself daydreaming and drifting off course on occasion. If so, give yourself a little time to dream, but set a limit. Then get back to work.
Make intentional time for family and loved ones. But if a friend calls you for the third time in a week to talk about the same problem, politely bow out. You need to spend your time on your own goals and your issues. You don't need to let someone who isn't taking control of their lives divert you from paying attention to yours.
Moments make up our lives.
Before you know it, moments become days. Days turn into weeks. Weeks become months. And months turn into years.
You will achieve your goals and live a life you can love and be proud of if you build on action steps one step at a time, one day at a time, and so on.
Be aware! You will never finish. As long as you live, you will be growing and changing. Life requires you to step outside your comfort zone on a regular basis if you are going to be successful. You won't be "done" until you come to the end of your life.
So be deliberate in the way you create your life one day at a time.
Remind yourself that YOU are solely responsible for the quality of your life. If you don't love the life you have now, do something to change it and do that something right now.
If you haven't checked it out yet, I encourage you to. Michael has revamped the program since last year, and if you took the LifeScore Assessment
last week, you already know the areas in which you want to work for 2019.
You deserve to live a life you can love. I believe that to my core. And that is what I want for you.
Until next time.
If you are having trouble envisioning yourself living a life you love, perhaps we should talk! Make an appointment for a 20-minute complimentary Discovery Session using this link: http://kittyboitnott.coachesconsole.com/calendar.